Terror Attack Signs

I was just reminded of, quite possibly, my all-time favorite email forward when my good friend Meg re-forwarded this to me the other day and I realized that this may bring the same joy to others as they perouse my blog. Have a great day!


The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/.The thing is that the pictures from the site are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.


If your right arm is on fire, do not run

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run like hell.

Use your flashlight to lift any fallen walls right off of you!

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.

Austin is radioactive, move to Houston

If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run away fast.

If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not breaking wind.

If you lose a contact lens after a terrorist attack, be sure to look for it. If you cannot find it, it is probably best to roll on the floor and have a good cry.

Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.

A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

If a door is closed, karate chop the hinges.

Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, change the focus point to your head.

After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that crap.